Come What May

Today is January 3, 2015. 

Everyone is writing (most have already written) their hopes for this new year and have reflected on all that was had in the past year. I think it is a romantic practice, but slightly overrated. New beginnings, for me, are stirred in me most with the onset of Spring. For some, it is with the beginning of a new school year or with the commencement of one. For others, it is a birthday or anniversary that hits the reset button for them. And for others still, they feel that new hope with each of those moments throughout the year. On New Years night I looked at my husband and said, "I mean, today was still just a Thursday and tomorrow will still be Friday." 

My lack of enthusiasm isn't for what the future holds but what I really take issue with is confining it to a twelve month calendar. I have dreams. Big ones! But I get all itchy and unsettled when I feel like I need to get grinding away to make them happen before December 31st. I get stressed out and overwhelmed before I'm even out of the gate. I want to work at my own pace. I want to grow in my own time. I want to allow life to happen and unfold and not miss out on any extraordinary moment that I was too preoccupied to even notice. Or worse yet, miss something extraordinary because I only had time for a glance and in that glance all I saw was something ordinary. I don't want to be fooled into thinking the focus should be on me and how I'm growing that I forget to help the ones around me grow in their opportunities. 

Now, all of that being said, I did lay out some goals for this coming year. But in an effort to show myself some grace I am going to say,

Come what may.

My health has been on a downward spiral for a while now so in about a week and a half I am going to be having major surgery. I can't say when exactly my shop will be re-opened or when my next show will be because I am not tying myself down to a deadline. I will let myself heal and we'll go from there... 

Come what may.

My husband is going to be going back to school, in some capacity, at some point this year. I could not be more proud of him and excited for him! But a little less Daddy means a little more Mommy...

Come what may.

I don't do a great job of compartmentalizing or multi-tasking so when there is an area of my life that I want to work on (my marriage, being a mommy, being a maker with a small business, being a better friend, growing in community, etc.) I tend to go all in. I focus most, if not all, of my attention there. This is both a good thing and a bad thing for obvious reasons-- one area begins to really flourish while other areas feel strain. I've decided ultimately that I am going to stop beating myself up over this, because let's face it, I don't have time for that. I may get better at this great juggling act, but...

Come what may.

Today is Saturday. Tomorrow is still Sunday.