Divvying It Up
Do you remember when you were a kid and maybe you were asked to pick up a bunch of small toys and take them back to your room? As a kid, for me at least, one of the most efficient ways to quickly execute this chore was to hold out the bottom of my shirt to create a makeshift basket, pile everything into my shirt, and then carry it all back to my room in one fell swoop.
Did you ever do that? Do you remember what would inevitably happen when you had too much piled into your shirt?
Something would fall out.
And what would happen when you bent down to pick it up?
More would fall out.
And this would continue! Until finally, I would realize that it was too much to gather all at once. This chore that I had thought I was brilliantly handling had now taken more time than if I had just divvied up the mess from the beginning and simply made two trips.
This is me lately.
Between all the roles, all the responsibilities, all the obligations, all the hopes and dreams, between all the want-tos, have-tos, and need-tos, I have failed to gather it all, but have continued to try to gather it all.
In my effort to be efficient, I have become grossly inefficient. In my effort to be superwoman, I have let others down. In my effort to do it all, I have completely exhausted myself. Last week, I talked about how we can’t always be in a state of production because it is exhaustive (you can read that post here). So what do I do? What do we do?
We divvy it up.
I am trying to learn how to say, “No.” I am learning how to delegate. I am constantly trying to better prioritize (when your To Do list is running horizontal rather than vertical because everything is top priority and needs to be at the top of the list... there’s a problem). I am assessing all those want-tos, have-tos, and need-tos. I am reminding myself that I am not in this alone. I have a husband, who is also the father to my children. I am not the sole child-rearer in the house. Yet, that is exactly how I’ve acted!
I have friends who I love to help, but when life happens and I’m the one that needs their help, I can lean on them like they have leaned on me. (Sidenote: A good friend is someone who finds your lean an honor. If the people you are pouring into won’t pour into you or help you carry the load, then that’s a friendship you may be wise to take some steps back from.)
I have a business that I have been so fortunate to build and grow and that has been a very necessary creative outlet for me, but if that creative outlet is turning into an inlet of stress and worry and anxiety, then it’s time to recalibrate! If I love to serve others, but have run out of resources to serve with, then I am doing no one any good.
What an opportunity for liberation from the attempt to gather it all in one fell swoop when we can realize what a relief divvying it up can be.